The 20-Something Panic Attack!

Hey My Lovelies,

I began this blog to speak to my 20-something sisters; those of us who feel stuck or anxious or even panicked about the decisions we are making, the careers we are choosing and what we believe is going to make us successful in life. (Btw, what the hell is “success” and how do we know when we have it??? That’s a juicy one I will dive into in another post…cliff hanger!!!)

Lately, I keep running into a phrase that is striking fear into the hearts of 20-somethings all over this freaking city-The. Quarter-Life. Crisis. Duh duh DUUUUUUH!

It seems that this is the point in your life where you look around at where you’ve ended up and decide that you are nowhere near where you thought you would be, that your life is a complete mess, you have no direction and that time is running out! Where is the man, the house, the career and the babies!?!? And if you have some of those things, or even all of those things why don’t they feel right!?

This is where I jump in with a big idea to calm your nerves, my loves.

This generation is something extraordinary. Older generations were expected to have it all figured out and settled by this time. There weren’t that many choices. The 20’s were typically for finding a husband and putting into practice the domestic exercises you were groomed for as a young adult.

But, this is a new generation, ladies.

We have soooo much more available to us now and that is amazing! The challenge is that we are living in a paradox. We want to have it all figured out because we want security and we want to feel established, but we want to have it all and live the life of our dreams. We have endless possibilities and tremendous freedom to CREATE the life that we choose, so naturally that is going to take a bit longer.

Today, our teens are for learning and exposure. We cram all the information we can into our little brains so that when the time comes, we can make (hopefully) informed decisions. Our 20’s are for implementing those lessons and EXPERIMENTING. Now is the time for us to try on those careers that, in theory sounded interesting to us in our teens, to try out this guy and that guy and see what we really want in a partner.

You know how it is. You find an incredible dress on the rack of your favorite store. You’re so excited! You try it on, look in the mirror and it looks nothing like it did on the hanger. Do you throw it on the pile and burst into tears because that was the perfect dress and it didn’t fit!? …Maybe, if you are on your period….but, no! Ridiculous! You keep your eye out and eventually find one that is even better than the one you thought you wanted.

I grew up thinking that I had to figure everything out as quickly as possible and steer my life with an iron grip. Like, once I made those major life decisions I had to stick with them till death-do-us-part or I was doomed. What a fucked-up, enormously pressurized way to live! Not to mention that doesn’t sound very fun. (Obvious not-so-much-of-a spoiler alert: It wasn’t.)

I’m going to say it one more time to summarize and hopefully drive this point home. Our teens are for learning. Our twenties are for experimenting. You know what happens when you loosen your iron grip and start experimenting? Opportunities open up for you. A little crack emerges and a little light is allowed to shine through. The universe is dying to get in and direct you to your ultimate life. We think we need to work so hard to steer our lives, but life flows whether we struggle or not. In fact, struggling will make the journey that much more difficult.

We need to give ourselves permission to live some experiences. If living our dreams is so valuable to us then let’s give our experiences the time they deserve to figure out if they are worth committing our lives to. And I promise you, you have plenty of time once you figure out what you truly want, to make those dreams a reality. My 30-something ladies will attest to this 😉

I usually begin my posts with a few quotes. I only have one today and I’m going to leave it with you here, at the end:

“Don’t you worry child, see heaven has a plan for you.” ~Swedish House Mafia

Boo ya 😉

Keep it real my 20-something sistahs,

Sam

Money Hang-ups

Money. Mula. Dinero.

You would think we all just want a heck-of-a-lot of it, right? But it’s so funny to think about all the hang-ups we have around money.

Admitting we want it seems greedy or taboo.

Or once we have it in our hands we think of all the ways we can throw it away-new shoes, that once-a-day venti skinny latte (because we deserve it), taxis, hair products….you get the picture, and all of a sudden we have no idea where it went!

I’ll admit that my hang-up is the opposite. I squander money. I love to save. I make a big deal about spending any little bit of money.

And while this may not seem as bad as throwing money away, I can tell you it is just as debilitating.

My sister can attest to this. This past January we went on a trip to Cabo to celebrate her 40th and my 25th birthdays. While we planned and saved for it, once we were there I realized that I underestimated how much I would spend each day. That, coupled with not earning an income for 10 days and rent being due upon my return caused me to Freak Out! Mind you, I have a savings account. I could easily have transferred money over and I would have been fine, but I didn’t want to hear it. I felt overwhelmed and went a little coo-coo. (sorry sis!)

Hind-sight is 20-20. I returned home, paid my rent and realized that my fear about money put a big ugly splotch on my vacation! Not cool at all! I decided then and there to face my hang-up and here is what I’ve realized:

Money is a form of energy. That’s all it is. I’m committed to bringing positive energy to all areas of my life and money is no different. I need to stop being afraid of it and letting it control my life.

So, I changed my perspective. I decided that I don’t need to hold onto it with a death grip. I need to relax so that it could flow freely into and out of my life. And out is not always a bad thing…

Just this past February my sisters and I surprised my mom on her 65th birthday with a 10-day trip to Paris and Rome for her and my father. It has been her dream since she was a little girl to go to France, but I knew she would never make it happen for herself, so I decided to make it happen for her. I let the money go freely because I was funding a lifelong dream and it felt amazing!

I can also say that I seem to be attracting more money to myself than ever before. I broke down those blocks I had about money and now it is flowing towards me effortlessly. Go figure!

So what are your hang-ups about money?

Do you squander it like I used to? Are you a shop-a-holic? Do you avoid looking at your finances because you feel your bills are too big and scary?

We all have our issues. The only way to change them is to take a hard, honest look at them. They are ugly. They are scary. That’s why we avoid them for so long. Change that today! Face them! Savvy girls don’t hide from their hang-ups. Savvy girls face them with a warrior stance and kick those money-fears in the face!

Let me know what your hang-up is and tell me your plan to conquer it in the comments below.

xoxo,

Samantha

 

Turning Envy into Inspiration!

“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.” Harold Coffin

“If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape it would be the shape of a boomerang.” Charley Reese

“People that you envy hold the key to the things you “think” you are missing from your life.” Mastin Kipp

 

What does it feel like when you find yourself envious of another person? Does it move through your body filling it with light and positive energy? Do you say, “Ooo, yea I want more of that!”

Of course not!

Envy is a bitch and it works like a boomerang. We feed envy and it feeds us right back. If we allow it to nourish us enough, we become bitches too.

What is envy exactly? It is your ego’s attempt to make you feel not good enough, undervalued, unworthy and unloved. It’s the feeling that someone’s life or possessions are superior to your own.

Envy is a nasty trick of the ego and if we are not careful, it can consume us and sour our lives.

There is an up-side to envy, however…

The good thing about envy is that it is a blaring siren.

Envy shows us what we want.

I’ll say it again because it is just so dang juicy…Envy shows us what we want.

Envy is a clear, negative response to something we feel we are lacking in our own lives, and the only way it turns against us is when we don’t do anything with it. If we let it fester and sour inside of us it rots us from the inside out. If we pay attention to what triggers our envy we can use it to get what we most desire.

Here are 3 actionable steps to turning your envy into inspiration:

1.) Think about who you are envious of. Write it down. List who you envy and what you envy about them. Get honest and be specific.

2.) Write down two actions, one immediate and one ongoing that you can do to get what you want. And act on them! Don’t just think you can write them down and that’s good enough. Follow-through is key here.

3.) Thank and send mental blessings to the person you envy. Huuuuuh!?!? Yes, thank that person for showing you exactly what you want for yourself. Thank them for having the courage to go after what they want and in turn, inspiring you to do the same. By doing this you place this person beside you instead of opposite you. They become your comrade instead of your enemy. 

Envy is going to come up. It’s what we choose to do with it that makes a difference. Choose a positive response and you will create positivity in that area you felt was lacking.

I would love to hear your own Envy to Inspiration steps. Create power with your words by sharing them in the comment section below.

Till Next Time Friends,

Sam

 

Live Your Life…Like a BOSS!!!

We all want a fabulous life, right? I know I do and I can guess that you do too. You have everything you need to make it happen. You have a unique gift that you were born to share with the world and when you do, amazing things will come to you! I truly believe that. It wasn’t an accident that you were put here at this specific time, in this specific place. There will never be another you and if you don’t share what you have to give, listen now, this is important- you are STEALING from those who need you the most. Ya heard!?

STEALING!!!

So let’s all start living life with and on purpose! And doing our thang…like a BOSS!

This little kiddo says it best. If you get nothing from this post, just watch this video. It will make your day. I think it made my life.

The One Thing I Swore I would Never EVER Do…and Why I’m Glad I Did It!

Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” Alan Alda

“Books and minds only work when they’re open.” James Dewar

“The mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its original size.” Albert Einstein

I have a secret. One that I’ve been keeping hidden out of fear that people would judge me. I realized that I feared that people would judge me because I judged myself, but my friends, the time has come and I’m ready to share…

I am on an online dating website.

(Pause for reaction)

What? Not the news you were expecting?

Not the juiciest news ever?

Well let me explain…have you ever said to yourself, “I would never do that in a million years!” I’m sure you have. Come, on. Wrack your brain a little if you have to. We all have something that we find scary or lame or not worthy of us trying. For me it was online dating.

(Disclaimer: Total honesty ahead and I don’t want to offend anyone in the online dating world. This was just my thought-process at the time.)

In my mind online dating was lame. It was for people who were probably socially awkward and were using it as a crutch for not having to meet people in real life.

Then I found out that my cool friend Kelly had a blog. And I started to read her blog. And I came across a funny, candid post about her foray into the online dating world. And I though, “Kelly is a young, cool, attractive chica and she’s online dating. Maybe I should check this out. Why am I so against it? And anyway, what have I got to lose?”

So I find a site that seems promising and I create a profile complete with pictures and a description of who I am. The messages start rolling in. I find one guy who is handsome, successful and seems promising. We go on some dates and we connect in an amazing way! I can hardly believe it. One thing leads to another and before you know it…We’re engaged!!!!

No! Nuh-uh, seriously!? I hope you didn’t fall for that. I’m sorry. Now I feel bad. I’ll bake you some cupcakes, k? 🙂

What did happen was that I did go on a few dates and I met some really amazing guys. A few have become good friends. I guess that now you’re asking, “If you didn’t find the love of your life then what’s the big deal? You’re still single and all you have to show for it is some new friends? Big wup.”

Well, yes big wup for me.

What I found out was:
1.) that if I am dissatisfied with an area of my life it is 100% up to me to change it. Before online dating I was feeling stuck. Like “Where have all the good men gone?” (Yes, I just quoted Bonnie Tyler.) Now I feel empowered in my love life. I created access to a range of guys and I can choose who seems genuine and attractive to me. And who knows, I may find a guy I want a relationship with. (Btw, you can totally tell who is in it for sex, who is just looking for fun and who is seriously looking for a relationship.) It helps you weed out the bullshit and find what you want which saves a lot of time in my opinion.

2.) If I was wrong about this, then what else might I be wrong about??? The experience literally opened up my mind. Now I am trying new things and questioning previous assumptions and it’s so exciting because I am learning something new about myself every day!

All from a website I thought was totally lame!

So I felt it was important to share this with you gals. Open your minds ladies. Take a chance and take charge of your love life! It feels great, I promise!

Love you 😉
Samantha

Mack-Lovin

“I  have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more Love.” Mother Teresa

“A  loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.” Thomas Carlyle

Hey peeps!

This weekend was my 25th birthday! I’m a quarter-of-a-century old and I’ve been innundated with so much overwhelming love lately that I thought, what a perfect subject to write about. Love is such an infinite topic, but I just want to focus on one aspect today. So what this post is not about: being single, relationship troubles, sex, waking up next to your room-mate’s ex-boyfriend with a nasty hang-over and a possible STD…forget all the boy-girl messy stuff for now. I’m sure I’ll get to that in another post…Eh, except the room-mate/STD thing. Don’t think I wanna touch that subject :/…What I want to delve into here is pure Love. Love in its most simple capacity.

I was listening to a podcast by self-transformation leader, Mastin Kipp (if you don’t know him you need to check him out at TheDailyLove.com) and he was interviewing Robert Holden, best-selling author and expert on self-acceptance. At one point Holden threw out this gem that stuck with me-“The way I feel is that the only way you’re ever going to love someone is if you’re willing to love everyone. If you’re not going to love everyone, you will not be able to love someone.” Blew. My. Mind. People.

Love is all-inclusive and we are all connected so it only makes sense that we need to Love each other.
Love is acceptance and Love is compassion and I don’t know about you, but I think we could use a hell of a lot more of those two things in our world right now.

Lov-ing is something we definitly need to do more of.

It seems so simple, but if you consider it, Loving is really a daring thing! To Love means being completely vulnerable. And to Love all the time is hella-scary! That’s why there’s such a natural tendancy to keep our hearts guarded. We feel we are protecting something. Occasionally we open our hearts to those we believe deserve it and to those we believe we can trust not to hurt us. Then we close right back up again when we are the least bit unsure. Think about how often you have truly opened your heart to someone. How many people? If you can count how many, that’s too few. What would happen if you opened your heart to everyone? What if you Love a person who has hurt you? What if you Love a complete stranger? Radical idea? Maybe.

The thing is, when you keep your heart in a constant state of openness, love, abundance and positive energy are free to flow into your life. The most exciting thing to me is this idea of abundance. Why do we “save” our love? What is this idea that we need to save our love for one person? Who sold us that idea!? Our Love isn’t on reserve! We don’t have a certain amount of Love in us and once it’s gone we can’t get any more. Just the opposite. Give all your Love away! Whore your Love out to everyone and see what happens. I promise you, extraordinary things will happen!

I, personally don’t want my heart to have a lock and key. I want my heart to be a giant fabulous party where everyone is welcome and the champagne is free-flowing!

I want to begin a project. I like to experiment on myself to see what works so I am going to practice this and if others want to join me I would be thrilled. I am going to practice loving EVERYONE I come in contact with. I am going to love my friends, co-workers, strangers I pass on the street, the lady invading my space on the subway…and I’m going to observe what happens. I’ve been playing with this a little bit lately and it’s already yielded some awesome results so I’m crazy excited to see what happens when I commit fully to it. I’m going to give it a year and I’m going to periodically take inventory and see what changes in my life.

The worst that could happen is nothing. People go on living their lives oblivious to my love for them, the world keeps spinning at the rate it’s always spun and I’ve wasted a year loving a whole lot of people. Doesn’t sound like much to lose. But, the amount there is to gain!? Well, that’s as infinite as the topic of Love.

Till next time!

Luv ya 😉
Sam

Quit Fearing Fear

“Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

-Emerson

That quote got me thinking about fear. How scary is it to do your own thing!? You think, “who am I to do things differently?”

“What if I try something new and I fail?”

“People will think I’m foolish or stupid!”

 I’m dealing with it right now. For me, starting this blog was an enormous fear! I toyed with the idea for years, but I was too scared to do it.

“What if it’s stupid?”

“What if I don’t get any readers?”

“What if it ends up being a ginormous failure!?”

That’s me, out there, on the internet, exposed for the world to judge. Scary!

But the thing is, our fears are glaring signs for us to stretch our boundaries; To get out of our comfortable safe little boxes and take a leap of faith. And it’s thrilling because when you exercise your muscle against fear, you open up possibilities that weren’t there before.

It’s a concept that has to do with yoga-you pause in these challenging, sometimes god-awful poses (chair pose, I hate you!) and you breathe through it. It’s horrible and overwhelming and you start to shake, but you get familiar with being uncomfortable. You immerse yourself in it because once you come out of it, you understand that the pose hasn’t done you in. You’re still here, and you’re stronger for getting through it. Then a challenge comes up that has nothing to do with yoga, but you know know how to handle it. You breathe and you get through it and you recognize that it’s not going to do you in.

The kicker? Fear never goes away. It will be by your side through every decision you face, every day you are alive. Might as well get to know it, right? You can’t run away from it. It’ll follow you like Creepy Apartment Guy. No? Just me? Maybe it’s time to move…

It’s always going to be scary. That’s what fear is, duh, but it’s also incredibly empowering when you face it head on and give fear the finger. This blog is me giving fear the finger. So I hope you will join me and raise your finger to fear, whatever that means for you. I think this little blog is going to be an incredible, scary, exciting, sexy and fun journey 😉

Keep it Passionate Peeps!

Sam